Kid 1: I'm sorry.
Kid 2: It's okay.
First off, I'm not sure Kid 1 really meant it or knew what they were even sorry about. They'd simply learned that saying sorry was the key to getting off the hook. Secondly, Kid 2's response was sweet but not necessary, because it wasn't okay for Kid 1 to treat them that way.
This is the way the conversation goes now. It definitely requires a little more thought than the scenario above.
This is the way the conversation goes now. It definitely requires a little more thought than the scenario above.
This is up on our wall. When there's a need for an apology, the kids head over to the make-it-right spot and take care of business. It's certainly not perfect, but it's a step in the right direction.
Good thoughts this morning, Tammy! I have my students use #1, but I haven't thought to have them use # 2 or #3. Great life lessons!
ReplyDeleteLori
Conversations in Literacy
Lori, I sure do hope this affects the rest of their lives.
DeleteLove this! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMegan
I Teach. What's Your Super Power?
Megan, you're so welcome. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteJust shared this on my Five on the Fifth post. Such a great idea!
DeleteMegan
I Teach. What's Your Super Power?
Thanks again Megan! That's all too sweet of you! :)
DeleteI really like this! I appreciate you sharing it!
ReplyDeleteJessica
Covered in Glitter and Glue
Jessica, I'm glad this is something useful for you!
DeleteGreat idea...I've had my kids use the first one, but need to incorporate 2 and 3 with it as well. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome! Steps 2 and 3 do make them think a little bit!
DeleteAs always, a thought provoking post. It drives me crazy when I see a teacher demanding a child say sorry without further discussion (except a threat that the child can't play until they have said "I'm sorry.") I usually don't insist on an apology but suggest it will help the other child feel better. If the problem was caused by an accident, kids will easily say "I'm sorry it was an accident" with very little prompting and it does help the other feel better. For deliberate or thoughtless behavior (such as knocking down another child's blocks) I usually start with asking the offender why he/she thinks the other child is upset. I then ask how they might make the child feel better. If the child says he will say "I'm sorry." I remind them that that means "I wish I hadn't done it and I'll try not to do it again." If the child doesn't mean that I suggest they need to go to another area. Certainly not perfect because I do think that teaching compassion and responsibility are critically important. I just don't want to teach my little ones that the words "I'm sorry" are a pass for inappropriate behavior or that they have no meaning.
ReplyDeleteLyn
Mrs. Goff's Pre-K Tales
Lyn, I agree. Kids have learned that "I'm sorry" is what they say when they want to get out of trouble. This is something I sure want to undo. Thank you for your additional thoughts and insight. They are always welcome.
DeleteI love this. Another teacher at my school has something like this and I've always liked it!
ReplyDeleteKimberley
First in Maine
Kimberley, I'd love to hear about this teacher's system, so I can make mine better!
DeleteMay I borrow this?
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea Tammy!
Starting this tomorrow!
Julie
Julie, please borrow away! Make it better and then let me know how, so I can make mine better too! :)
DeleteI love this also...ditto all the above comments. What I love about it is using "I" statements. No opening for accusations.
ReplyDeleteLaurie
Chickadee Jubilee
Laurie, it does really force the little person to take responsibility for themselves instead of point the finger, huh?
DeleteThanks for sharing this idea Tammy! Mind if I make a little chart? I will probably offer it as a freebie if you don't mind?!
ReplyDeleteKim
Kim, you're more than welcome to! :)
DeleteAwesome! I featuring this post on Bagels and Blogs a little later today. :)
ReplyDeleteDonna
Math Coach’s Corner
Donna, thank you for thinking this worthy of sharing with your readers!
DeleteI love this! Lame apologies get on my nerves. :)
ReplyDeleteAs they do mine. :)
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