I am the teacher...
who was interviewed on a podcast
who is determined to write a book
who was asked to write a classroom vignette for a book that's been currently published
whose idea was published in the Instructor Magazine
who posts opinionated thoughts on a blog
who professionally tweets on Twitter
who provides writing PD for other teachers
who has a solid reputation in her district
And yet I am the teacher...
who messes up on a fairly regular basis
who reads professional books that have yet to find a way into her practice
who struggles with engaging all her learners
who doesn't stay on top of the newest children's literature
who has the largest range of abilities she's ever experienced and knows she's not reaching everyone
who doesn't handle every conflict in the classroom with grace
who recognizes that she allows the clock too much influence in her room
who is embarrassed to even speak about some of her struggles
And the list goes on.
The bottom half of this list can be so very suffocating at times that it's difficult to even breathe in the possibility that I can be both teachers at the same time.
When I am in a state of feeling overwhelmed about the teacher who still battles with what seems like the most basic concepts, I have difficulty acknowledging all that I have accomplished.
When others sing my praises, the voice inside whispers, "If you only knew."
I'm reminding myself, and maybe someone else, to acknowledge and celebrate. Regie Routman says that celebration is at the heart of her best teaching, and maybe it's possible that teachers need to celebrate themselves too.
I hope to always be the teacher who does extraordinary things, but I will also always be the teacher who must grow beyond what I know.
Today, right now, I strive to be okay with the difference between these two teachers, because they can and do coexist.