I'd love to perfect first grade, but knowing that's not remotely possible, I really am content with the knowledge that there will always be more to become. Most of the time, like Regie, I welcome this fact. Then there are the rare moments, like the one I'm in now, possibly induced by the most stressful and draining time of the year, where my ever-growing-must-improve-me list of better teaching practices can seem quite daunting. Sometimes I just feel like a mediocre teacher disguised as an exceptional one. I've pulled the wool over everyone's eyes, and they wrongly perceive me as better than I really am at this thing called teaching. I say that not to induce an onslaught of pats on the back. I say it because, well, I'm normal. I struggle at times with myself and my weaknesses. In hopes of not sounding too much like a pout pout fish though, on this 20th year of teaching, I do have so much to be thankful for. In the midst of all the improvements on my wish list, I can't help but be so deeply grateful for 20 years of becoming that has brought me to this place. I have come a long way. The process isn't always comfortable, but I know it's worth it.
This is so great, that I may just post it on Facebook for you (unless you tell me not to, of course).
ReplyDeleteAs always, you write beautifully, and you have captured just where I am right now.
Laur, post away. Little did I know when I was writing this that it would mirror your own situation.
DeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteJulie
Light A Fire
I always feel like a mediocre teacher at the beginning of the school year. It's kind of like I "forget" how to be an effective teacher. Once I get my routine set, rules taught, and kids in the groove of being back at school, I feel more confident. I have to remind myself that I always feel like this at the beginning of the school year. Like you, I am always trying to improve as a teacher. I just love learning:)
ReplyDeleteConnie Anderson:)
Welcome To First Grade Room 5
Connie, there is definitely something humbling about the beginning of the year, huh?
DeleteKudos to you for still wanting to improve what you are doing after doing the "same thing" for 20 years. (Same grade, same profession, etc but doubt your still doing everything the "same"!). I think that is essential to being a great teacher - being willing to "become" and still wanting to improve. As a new-to-first-grade teacher I"m feeling a lot of newness and having do a lot of becoming. Especially when it comes to math since I've only taught sci/ss/language arts in the past. Thankful for a reason to keep becoming, just hope I have the same mindset you do after 20 years!
ReplyDeleteLeigh Anne, I have a feeling you'll be continually becoming and striving for your best as well. :)
DeleteYour self-awareness is what sets you apart. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your imperfections and your insights. Learning and growing from our experiences, and our mistakes or failures in particular, moves us from ordinary to extraordinary!
ReplyDeleteOh how I wish I could come visit your class ....
Barbara
Barbara, I wish you could visit and stay for my next 20 years!
DeleteI feel like a mediocre teacher all the time. I feel like my kids are happy with me and that's important, but there is so much else I need to do. We work in a profession that, if done correctly, helps us want to grow every day. This is good. I know that to be true.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your Saturday posts.
Kimberley
First in Maine
Kimberley, you're very right. It's a good thing to be continually moving in the right direction, which I'm sure you're so good at.
DeleteWhat a great post! I hope I never stop "becoming" . Thanks for your Saturday morning sayings. I always enjoy reading them!
ReplyDelete--Chrissy
Firstgradefoundme.blogspot.com
Chrissy, thank you for reading. I appreciate you. I'm sure you'll never stop becoming!
DeleteI sometimes feel like I have so much to improve on and not enough years left to do it in! Thank you for helping us to reflect and strive towards being better and all we can be!
ReplyDeleteLori
Conversations in Literacy
Lori, you know how I feel, huh? Sometimes my list feels awfully long. We'll keep moving in the right direction.
DeleteLove this. Congrats on 20 years!
ReplyDeleteKelli, thank you!
DeleteTam I love your "Forever in First". I know I don't comment often, but I have learned so much from you that I am, in some simple way, incorporating into my "table time" with my babies. I love your "Saturday Sayings." You write to beautifully
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing this is Barb? Thank you for your sweet comment. It means a lot to me.
DeleteTammy this post is beautiful, refreshing, & exquisite!! I admire you so much, as a cousin, teacher, and fellow human being. In a world with so much mediocrity you inspire me!
ReplyDeleteLove Julie
Thank you Jules. That's so very thoughtful of you to say. Love you.
DeleteOh, yes! Becoming... I'm definitely feeling this way this year with all my new-ness. Music is particularly challenging right now, but I know one day soon I'll feel better about it.
ReplyDeleteCrystal
Teaching Little Miracles
Crystal, I think you're totally awesome for raking on the roll of music teacher. I can only imagine how challenging that would be. Bless you!
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