Saturday Sayings: I Can Do Better

Here I am writing the post that's been written a million times over in a million different ways. My own hand has contributed a handful of versions. Yet it won't leave me alone, like a tiny but persistent first-grade finger poking me in the backside. Though I might reply to that six-year-old with, "I talk to boys who don't poke me," I'm surrendering completely to my relentless thoughts and giving them my full attention and mindful energy. 

I can do better. 

These are the words playing on repeat in my mind while walking the halls of my school. They communicate with me on my drive home after a long day. They greet me the following morning. It's a constant refrain, like the song in my head that's playing even when I don't recognize its presence. 

Is my classroom a place where mistakes are safe to make?
I can do better. 

Are my students allowed to have bad days?
I can do better. 

How do I react to those behaviors that make me vibrate?

I can do better.

Why are some students struggling to find joy in writing? 
I can do better. 

Are all readers willingly engaging with books? 
I can do better. 

I feel inspired and challenged, a dichotomy of simultaneously feeling energized and overwhelmed. I'm energized by the realization that I'm on an upward trajectory of developing the art of teaching. It's simply impossible to flatline on this path I've chosen. Yet the cognitive work involved can at times feel so daunting. My list of I-can-do-better items is longer than I'd like to admit. 

As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I resist the urge to wallow  and instead challenge myself to accept the hard parts of this job because of my "why." Why did I sign up for not simply this job but for this lifestyle? Because I believe what I do makes a difference in the lives of a young generation who deserves better than the world at times gives them. So...

I can do better.